Here is a collection of things that had made me "bust a gut" over the years in the Philippines.
The first time I went to the Philippines in 1983 I had this funny experience in a restaurant/eatery outside of Clark Airbase.
WAITRESS: Tubig Sir?
ME: Huh? What did you Say?
WAITRESS: Tubig Sir, you want Tubig?
ME: Hey I'm not too big. Look at me I'm not fat.
WAITRESS: hi hi hi, I mean water, you want water Sir?
The first time I saw my street kid friend named Jun Jun I was driving by as he was taking a pee on a sign that said "Bawal Umihi Dito" or "Do Not Urinate Here". I laughed so hard I almost crashed my car!
THE MORE THE MERRIER
I spent the night with a rural farm family once in Mindanao inside of their bahay kubo (Nipa Hut). There were a total of 4 adults and about 10 kids inside of the kubo. We all had to lay sideways on floor in order to fit all inside. All night every time one person turned, everyone had to turn and it was like a wave all night long. No sleep that night! I remember wondering how in the world can these farm families make so many kids in conditions like that! I guess that is their secret! lol
FAT FOREIGNER RIDES IN A JEEPNEY
It is quite a sight to see a foreigner bigger than the back door of a jeep squeezed inside of a Jeep. The Jeepney's were built for the average local size person and big foreigners draw the strangest looks as they try to squeeze into jeeps and tricycles. When you look at them you can tell they are suffering as their heads are bent sideways trying to avoid hitting the roof and they are sweating profusely from trying to squeeze through the door.
One time in Davao I was walking down the street near the durian monument park and a little girl came up to me with the most serious look. She held out her hand and said...
" Hey Joe, give me my money! "
SOSU vs. SOSO
No joke! How many times have I went to the market and had ladies who were breast feeding their babies offering me Susu. The problem was the only word I knew like that was Soso which means boobs. I thought is was strange that so many ladies would be offering me their boobs at the local market! lol Translated it sounded like this . Boobs Sir? You want Boobs Sir? You want my boobs Sir?
I will be adding to this blog post periodically and will re-post with new funny things I discovered in the Philippines. It's a fun and funny place!