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Saturday, May 19, 2012

Watching her grow up

There is a connection that God designed between daddy's and their daughters that is so deep and powerful it is hard to put into words.

As I watch my daughter grow up I realize day by day we are closer than I ever imagined. Her need to have me as her pillar of stability and protector and my need to have her sweet innocent love is an amazingly deep relationship. Her life of only 3 years and 7 months impacts mine deeply.

I find myself appreciating the moments I have with her more and more. The more time I spend with her the more I learn about myself and what is truly important to me.

It seems like only yesterday I was holding her in my arms in the hospital and those perfect new eyes just starring at me. Or the first time she reached out her hand and touched my face. The first squeeze of my finger by hers. All those incredible sounds she made as she tried to utter words for the first time. It really seems like it was only yesterday. How time goes by so fast.

As she grows I realize that EVERYTHING I do has an impact on her. Her life is most influenced by mine. That is quite a responsibility when you think of it! I want to be the best for her and pray that I can.

Even today she is so active and even has her own opinion about things. I find myself challenged by her many questions about everything. She loves to play and create with her hands. She loves to cuddle and be held tightly. She loves to get my attention on whatever she does. These things are what are most important to her now. Deep inside I ask myself how am I doing at it? Am I a good father to her? Do I give her enough attention? Am I meeting her deepest needs?

Yes, she is the beat of my heart. Literally she is! There is no closer connection I have to any other on this earth than I have with her. I guess this was the original design, for daddy's to be real life hero's and model princes for their daughters. And daughters to be the charming princesses that gives daddy's the power to always fight for love, to excel to higher heights in life for their sakes. What a grand design!


My prayer this day is you would help me to be the best father for her. To be there for her in the times that are most important to her. Please give me the means to always provide her with the best life and protect her always. She is your gift to me and I could not ask for more than her.

Thank you for her precious life!  Her life reminds me of your great love.

From the heart,


Could there be anyone more beautiful on the face of this earth?

Tuesday, April 10, 2012

Today is my wife's Birthday

It's 4am here as I write this post. Today is my wife's Birthday. Deep inside I wish to give her a present that would make her happy today as she deserves the best. I struggle with the thought that those days of carefree shopping are long gone. We are in a new reality now just trying to make it, to survive our trials and come out of this alive. 

I must tell all of you she is the best. Truly God's gift to me and to all of our family. I can see her across the room as I type this, she is in bed with our two children. My new born son gently suckling as she gives him the life sustenance that is custom made from her body. It is truly a beautiful sight to see them all together. It is really all I could ever want in this world.

I am reaching deep inside my heart on this day and searching for answers, searching for a way that I might do something special for her on her Birthday. I am dealing with anger and frustration feeling paralyzed by the unjust circumstances we are living in now. It is hard to cope with it.

Knowing a little more than two years ago my wife had every convenience imaginable. She had her own place she could call home. She had a car, she had her friends and church family. Now she has none of that. I wish I could return all that to her today. Somehow to make the evil go away and restore her to that life she once had. It really makes me angry to think about it. She does not deserve her circumstances on this Birthday.

I am amazed to see how gracefully she accepts her humble means now. She does not complain or beat me up in her frustration She focuses on what is important, what is eternal in all of this. Like our children's lives and making sure they grow up in the fear of the Lord. That they are educated and given the best with the means we have. Same for me, she cares for my regardless of what material blessings she has lost. No bad attitude, no lashing out in anger. Just a selfless love and unbreakable commitment.

Today on her Birthday I am leaning a lot about myself. Because of our lack materially I find my self asking what can I give her today? The cash cow is gone, the house full of amenities, the car, the property and even her country. So what is left I ask my self? Those words on our wedding day come to mind. "for better or worse".  I ask my self what is left when we are experiencing the "worse" part?

What an awesome revelation I am getting out of this. Our happiness is not defined by what we have or don't have material wise. The true deep happiness comes from our hearts that radiate through action in our lives. When all is stripped away that is all that remains. This is the present I can give to my wife today. A newly committed stronger me. A heart so full of love and appreciation for her that she will be engulfed by my love for her. That's all that is left friends. And that is exactly what I am going to give my wife on her Birthday today. She deserves it, all of me and a new and improved version!

Father God, Please bless my wife today with every blessing from heaven. 
May her freedom come soon.      

Happy Happy Birthday my dear sweetheart!

Thursday, March 15, 2012

Being married to a Filipina is great - Part 3

I have to admit this subject is one of the most viewed on this blog. I guess people love romance!

I decided to do a part three as I took another few months to observe my wife closely and marvel at whom the Lord has given me in my life. The song "IKAW" applies so much in our relationship. The first line goes " Ikaw ang bigay ng may kapal"  Translated it means " You are God's gift to me".

There are certain cultural things involved that are so deep they are hard to explain in words when it comes to describing the love and dedication a Filipina has for her husband. Here are a few more reasons why being married to a Filipina is great.

What "I love you" means to a Filipina ( when she says it to you )

When my wife tells me she loves me I know she means it. Not because of the tone of her voice or the twinkle in her eye. She says it not only in words but in action. All day everyday. The more time that goes by I realize more and more I mean the world to her. No one had ever made me feel so important as she does. I have a hard time to catch up loving myself as much as she loves me. I think most men married to Filipina's know what I mean when I say that. The intensity of the love coming from her is not quantifiable.

For those of you who have read this blog through and through you know we are going through some serious hardship now. I mean on a level that would break apart most marriages. It's insane to tell the truth. But my wife's love not only remains, it gets stronger the harder life gets.

Filipina's are very deep when it comes to love. This stems from the way they were brought up combined with their spiritual beliefs. They love deeply and passionately. Their love is sacrificial and they need it to be that way to feel good about themselves. The more they sacrifice for their man and family the better they feel about themselves. Did we not win the lottery guys!  I have seen these attributes shining from various Filipina's we've met on this journey. They not only love, they live to love!

Next time your Filipina says " I love you " take a deep look at her whole being. Surely those words will reflect from the deepest part of her heart. What a wonderful culture the Filipina has concerning love and family. Again guys, have we not won the lottery? Indeed we have!

Unsurpassed Dedication

Filipina's are some of the most dedicated women in the world. First of all, they come from a culture where there is no divorce. So that easy out option is not there should differences arise or a major crises. Family comes before self every time. This is what makes her feel complete.

The Filipina does not have to try to be dedicated to her man. That is who she is. There is no learning involved in it. It is culturally instinctive for her to stay with her man through thick and thin. This is one of the things she lives for. It is her pride and joy to show her man that he is the only one in the world in her heart.

Look at our situation, because of an injustice that happened to us in 2010 we have lost basically everything material wise. My wife had one of the most beautiful homes in the Philippines and she had to live through being forced from it into a life of living like a nomad outside the Philippines. She has not skipped a beat in her dedication to me. Surely, she has only got stronger! No blame, no outbursts of anger because of the hardship. 100% dedication to me and our children. Oh, what part of heaven did she come from? I don't want to trash western women or say they don't know how to love or be dedicated, but honestly I don't think there are many woman who could survive this situation we have been through and still remain as dedicated as my wife has.

The more I see her dedication and learn the depth of it I pray to the Lord to help me be the same for her. To show her in a reciprocal way I am dedicated to her the same. That in itself is a challenge as each day I see a deeper level of dedication in my wife. I wish I was a better writer so as to explain it better. In good ole colloquial English I would say my wife's dedication "blows my mind!" I think you get my point!



Friday, March 2, 2012

Pics of our beautiful pools in the Philippines.

It is getting really hot and muggy now where we are. We are literally dreaming of the pools we had in the Philippines. I took personal pride in keeping them as pristine as possible. Enjoy the pics friends.

This is our 35 meter lap pool. Awesome exercise pool

We had decorative plants all around with bahay kubo's to relax in

The main mansion house terrace had an incredible view overlooking the pool

There were Hawaiian palms surrounding the pool
Our guest house had it's own private pool

It was very private and an quaint
It was a real treat to let guests use this pool. They loved it. 

That was then and this is now ...

God knows!

Wednesday, February 29, 2012

Gorgeous pictures from our property in the Philippines

The most beautiful of our property is of course my wife Chona. She is saying WELCOME EVERYONE!

One morning while walking in the back of our farm I took this pic of our horses 

A pic of our butterfly bridge across the blue lagoon

Our gazebo over the koi pond in the Japanese garden. The gym is in the background

An aerial shot of the developed portion from the Cesna I rented in Dec. 2007

Truly breathtaking moments out there every day. Our horses in front of the butterfly bridge

Born with a heart shaped mark on his nose. Our baby colt strolling on the property

A pic of our swing near the blue lagoon. We used to love to sit together on it

Bogonvalglia in the glorious morning light in the Japanese garden

The bridge leading into the Japanese garden in morning light

The reflection of our temple style gym on the koi pond

The bahay kubo near the big swimming pool. We loved to sit in there.

Dear Readers, 

I have to stop here as the emotional pain of missing this beauty is overtaking me now. The place we lived was so incredibly gorgeous. We worked hard to develop it and truly enjoyed it while we were there. We are trying to pick up the pieces now in our lives and find meaning in what happened to us there in the Philippines. God knows ...

I will post more at another time. 

Thanks for visiting. 

Our new reality makes us appreciate even more what we had. God knows ...